Dirty jokes
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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands directly next
to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating her snack cake. The
barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "I know. I'm gonna get boobs too."
Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy.
"Slow down, baby," she said. "Foreplay is an art."
"You better get your canvas ready soon," he panted, "because I'm about to spill
my paint!"
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big
problem, doctor."
"Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this earsplitting yell." "My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely
natural.
I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained,
"it wakes me up!"
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at
Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill
out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could
throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very
happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I
could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a
hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I
could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole
country happy."
A guy is strolling along a sandy beach one day when he comes across
a very old bottle. He's just dusting it off when two rather tired looking
genies pop out "Two genies!" he exclaims. "That must mean six wishes!"
"Sorry, buddy, it's three or nuthin'," say the genies, "and hurry up".
The guy makes his three wishes and races off home to see if they've
been granted. He gets home and runs into his bedroom, where he finds
the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen waiting for him.
After hours of mad, passionate sex, he stumbles out of bed and
walks into the living room where he is knee deep in $1000 bills.
The guy can hardly believe his luck.
Just then there is a knock at the door. He rushes over to open it,
when two hooded KKK members throw a rope around his neck and string
him up naked until he is dead.
The two then take off their white hoods to reveal that
they are, in fact, the two genies, both looking rather puzzled.
The first genie turns to the second and says, "I can understand the
beautiful woman and all the money in the world,
by why on earth would you want to be
hung like a black man?"
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