AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Dirty jokes and funny stories.

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother,
"Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational
theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky
subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which
he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all
that into this one little square?"

Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar.
He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and
buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women.
The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man that
would jump from the rich guy's pocket.
The little man would run up and down the bar,
kicking over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger.
Then the little guy would jump back into the man's jacket for a while.
The barman went over and asked the guy what was up.
So the rich guy says, "Well, let me tell you a little story.
I was walking along a beach one day, and I come across this lamp.
I rub it, and a genie popped out. I got three wishes, so my first wish was to be fabulously wealthy.
Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both."
The barman asks, "So what about that little guy in your jacket?"
"Oh, that," mumbles the rich guy. "That's the twelve-inch prick I wished for."

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors
had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators
and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their
children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one
problem arose -- how to handle that great-uncle George, who was
executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said, "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of
applied electronics at an important government institution, was
attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death
came as a great shock."

A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband,
Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a
little clue."

The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever
slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave."

Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Turning Walter!"

Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek they decided to bet it's other
100 euros who is going to make their wives scream more from sex.
So they all go home to have sex with their wives so they make them scream.
The next day the meet.

The Italian says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming
for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The German says, "That's nothing, I start licking my
wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that."

The Greek says, " That's nothing, I made love to my wife for ten minutes,
I came a couple times I wiped my Dick in the curtain and she still screaming."