AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Dirty jokes and funny stories.

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her
neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked
outside the town's only bar.

George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he
parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay bottom goes to his doctor. The
physician prescribes suppositories, but when it comes time to use them the young
man is afraid he will do it wrong. So he goes into the bathroom and bends over
and looks through his legs into the mirror to line up the target. All of a
sudden, his penis becomes stiff, blocking his view.

"Oh, stop it," the young man scolds his organ, "it's only me."

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he
decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I
can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his
open palm and said, "I can see that you have no
girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can
you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people.
One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife
wanted to buy something. "Well, my wife ain't home, she's gone down to the creek
to wash clothes, but lemma see what you got," said the man. The peddler showed
him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn't interested. Then
the man spotted a mirror and said, "What's that?" Before the peddler could tell
him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, "My God how'd you get a
picture of my Pappy?" The old man was so happy, he traded his wife's best
pitcher for it. The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale.
The old man was worried that the wife would be mad at him for trading her best
pitcher, so he hid it in the barn behind some boxes of junk. He would go out to
the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the "picture" and eventually the wife got
suspicious. One day she got fed up and after he retired for the night, she went
out to the barn. She saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up and said,

"so this is the hussy he's been foolin' around with!"

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just
gotten out of prison?"

"Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex
from the rear?"

"Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front
of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"